


Tell Me You're Covered Tonight, Or Tell Me Lies

by missmarvelmayhem



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Bottom Tony, Bottom Tony Stark, Explicit Sexual Content, Jealousy, M/M, Top Steve, Top Steve Rogers, i dont really know how to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-27
Updated: 2015-04-17
Packaged: 2018-03-19 23:08:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3627720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missmarvelmayhem/pseuds/missmarvelmayhem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Tony only get along when there's no clothes involved.<br/>Or, Steve and Tony have a lot of angry sex that apparently doesn't matter, until it does.</p><p>-</p><p>My first story on here, okay. Don't hate me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> First official posted story, because I write things but never actually publish them. There's probably going to be mistakes. I'm really sorry about that.

The sound of the chair screeching across the tiled floor is what causes everyone’s head to snap in Tony’s direction. He’s the only one, besides Bruce, who was able to change after the mission leaving him dressed in a pair of old jeans and a faded Black Sabbath shirt. While he recognizes he looks like the odd one out compared to his dirt-covered and blood-splattered companions, he doesn’t really care. It’s not his fault his armor comes off in ten seconds. Well, it kind of is.

“We’re not finished, Stark,” Steve’s sharp voice comes from the other side of the table. There’s footage of the battle playing behind him and there’s plans and maps set neatly on the table for him to use as diagrams. It kind of makes Tony sick.

“You guys may not be finished, but I am. I have a twelve o’clock. Now if you’ll excuse me,” Tony turns to leave, but stops when he hears the loud slam of Steve’s gloved-hand on the table.

“Dammit, Stark! I’m sick of you doing this!” Steve yells, “We have orders to discuss the mission and discuss how _you_ nearly got everyone on a city bus killed.”

“I knew what I was doing,” Tony defends, “JARVIS ran the calculations for me.”

“Oh, so JARVIS is the one who told you to throw a bus over a building. I’m assuming he promised you would be able to catch it in time, right?”

“Uh, well if you didn’t notice, Spangles, I kind of did catch it,” Tony jabs, “Iron Man knows what he’s doing.”

“It was reckless.”

“It was being a hero.”

“It was _stupid_.”

There’s an electricity in the air that leaves the entire room still. Even Clint doesn’t have a playful jab to throw (“Mommy and daddy are fighting again”). Tony’s glad he dropped Bruce off at the tower before the briefing (even if he was a little jealous), because the Hulk would definitely not like the kind of tension in the room at the moment.

“I’m curious, do you just analyze my fighting technique because you’re still jealous me and Thor have to give you rides, or do you just like hearing yourself talk that much?” Tony asks.

Clint visibly grimaces before standing up, “On that note, I’d like to take my leave now,” He chuckles nervously.

“Don’t bother, Hawkboy. I’m leaving. I’ll be in the lab fixing all of the little gadgets you all broke during the battle. You know, doing _real_ work for the next fight. Instead of sitting around listening to the Good Captain talk himself to death. Have fun.”

“ **Stark!** ”

Tony ignores the yelling, whistling as he shuffles out of the room and to the elevator. He’s sure he’ll get an earful from Steve when the rest of the team get back to the tower, but until then he has a headache to remedy with a glass of scotch. He’s been dreaming of opening up the 50-year for a while, and now seems like a pretty good time.

He’s almost to the elevator when something pushes him across the hallway and into a room, causing him to lose his balance and fall against the empty desk of a no-name SHIELD agent. When he looks up, the red white and blue is all it takes to make him groan.

“Are you kidding me?” Tony asks, “Now we’re going to play boxing until you get your way?”

“I’m sick of you doing this to us, Stark,” Steve starts, shutting the door behind him. The lights in the room are off and only the sunlight from the peeking blinds fills the room, giving it a dull glow. Tony can’t see much, but he can see Steve heaving with anger “We’re a team, you know that right? That means _all of us_. Just because you lock yourself away in a lab half of the day doesn’t mean you’re excluded from everything else the team does.”

“Oh please,” Tony rolls his eyes, “What is this a suburban soccer team?” He scoffs and Steve tenses again, “Tactic and organization, that’s your thing right? How about you do what ever it is that helps you sleep at night while I go home and write a check so the city doesn’t get pissed at us for destroying half of Manhattan _again_.”

When Tony goes to leave again, Steve physically puts his arm up as a blockade, creating a solid bar across Tony’s chest. Tony has to actually look up to him just to glare and when he does Steve is already glaring back at him with icy blue eyes that seem to slice through anything. The two are close, so close they can feel themselves breathing against each other while the other one decides on a comeback to choke out.

Tony isn’t sure how it happens, or why. All he knows is one minute he blinks, another he’s opening his mouth to tell Steve to get out of his way, and the next Steve’s mouth is against his and he’s being pinned to a filing cabinet.

It takes Tony a moment to respond, but the thought of ‘ah, fuck it’ comes across his mind and he starts moving his lips with the Captain’s. He’s honestly expecting him to taste something along the lines of good old American vanilla and apple pie, maybe peach pie, but Steve tastes like spearmint and it’s not disappointing at all. He doesn’t even mind that the handles of the cabinet are lodged into his back, sure to leave marks, as Steve pins his shoulders to keep him from moving.

“Do you ever shut up?” Steve breathes as he pulls away.

“Not unless there’s something occupying my mouth,” Tony replies, launching himself at Steve again.

They move to the desk and Tony isn’t sure why taking off his belt is the best option he could think of, because he probably should just stop kissing Steve then. Instead, the belt and pants come off, along with the top part of Steve’s uniform. That leaves the super-soldier in all his super-serum glory, sweating and a little bloody from the earlier battle but its _hot_. 

Steve goes to yank off the ratted Black Sabbath shirt, but Tony quickly slaps his hand away and hops up on the desk, leaving his boxers on the ground. The captain doesn’t question it, just goes back to attacking Tony’s jaw, then neck, with kisses and bites as he slides a hand between them. He wraps his hand around Tony, giving him a firm tug before the engineer is putty and moaning into the empty room. That’s all Steve really needs to push his uniform down below his hips to expose himself, in all his glory.

Tony is too far gone to realize what a horrible and _terrible_ idea this is. He only yanks his discarded pants up so he can fish out his wallet and the packet of lube that’s hidden in there (because of emergencies, you know) and shoves it in Steve’s direction. If he wants this, then he’s going to have to do all the work.

Steve doesn’t seem to have a problem with that, because in no time the packet is open and the lube is covering his dick and he’s moving his slick fingers towards Tony’s hole. Tony, impatient he is, lays back on the desk with legs wide open, urging Steve to just hurry the hell up.

“What the hell is taking you so long, Rogers?” Tony asks.

And, oh, he’s in for it now.

Steve skips the whole one finger first, then the second rule and goes straight to his index and middle finger. He doesn’t take it slow, because a part of him wants to punish Tony, but he can also see how much the genius likes it when his knuckles are pressed against his ass. Steve gets to work, pushing and scissoring until he adds a third.

“Ngh, fuck,” Tony breathes out, “Just hurry the hell up already.”

Steve does, removing his fingers completely before placing his tip right at Tony’s entrance. He circles it a bit, taking in the feeling of warm skin against skin before Tony’s voice, of course, ruins the moment.

“Are you seriously gonna take this lon- Ugh!” Tony chokes out as Steve pushes into him, all in one stoke, but slow. He’s going as slow as he possibly can because he’s just as impatient as Tony, “Rogers, I swear to God if you don’t start fucking me-“

“Shut the hell up, Stark,” Steve grits out before he pulls out, pushing himself back in immediately which causes the billionaire to throw his head back, causing it to hit the desk beneath him as Steve begins a steady motion.

“Oh, fuck,” Tony hisses as the feeling of being stretched around Steve finally occurs to him. He’s filled to the brim with Steve’s dick, and its enough to let a few tears hit the corner of his eyes as he looks up at the sweaty super-soldier hovering above him. The look in Steve’s eye is carnal, like he’s on a mission and Tony thinks its just about the hottest thing he’s ever seen.

“Ugh,” Steve chokes out, eyes slammed shut as he focuses on pounding himself into Tony likes there’s no tomorrow. His hands are pinning him down by the shoulders, keeping him still as he works on moving in and out of Tony’s ass like a machine. He thinks it can’t possibly get any better until he feels Tony’s legs wrap around his waist.

“Deeper. C’mon, harder. What’s the point of all that super strength if you aren’t going to use it?”

And that’s how Steve loses it, pulling out of Tony completely before yanking him up and tossing him back down so his torso is flat on the desk, ass up in the air. Tony prepares himself, gripping the edge of the desk tightly before Steve loses himself in Tony again, gripping hips and leaving bruises as he continues to use all the force he has to make Tony’s knees shake.

“Fuck! Yes! Jesus Christ, right there!” Tony yells out, gripping the desk as it begins to shift with every thrust Steve is giving.

“Ugh,” Steve throws his head back in euphoria as he feels Tony clench around him, and he knows he must have hit the right spot for the genius to be withering and wining like that, “So,” He breathes, “Close.”

Tony reaches back, pulls one of Steve’s hands off of his hip and guides it forward until its wrapped around his own dick. Steve gets the hint, pressing his chest to Tony’s back as he moves his hand twice as fast as his thrusts until he’s sloppily pounding into Tony with no actual rhythm, just desperate thrusts until he finally feels that familiar feeling burning sensation in the bottom of his stomach.

“Fuck!” Steve chokes out, and if Tony weren’t so focused on releasing his own load, he would have made some sort of comment about Steve’s choice of word. It only takes a few seconds (Tony swears to himself its not because Steve shouting ‘fuck’ is the hottest thing he’s ever heard) for Tony to follow, spilling himself all over the desk and Steve’s hand.

It takes them a minute to catch their breath, but Steve is the one who moves first and pulls himself out of Tony. He doesn’t bother with the clean up, because he can take a shower when he gets back to the tower within twenty minutes. Tony pulls himself up, finds a couple of tissues on the desk and wipes his hands and backside clean before yanking his pants up, not glancing over at the Captain who’s pulling up his uniform.

There’s a comfortable silence as they straighten the room back up, and there’s a silent agreement that they aren’t going to speak of this again, or say anything if someone asks about the giant dent in the filing cabinet. 

Tony thinks that okay by him.


	2. Chapter Two

No one knows or suspects anything between Tony and Steve, because the next day they’re back to arguing. For weeks after that, it stays the same. They battle, they argue, nothing happens. Tony doesn’t wonder why Steve decided to fuck him that day (okay, so it might be the only question keeping him up at night, but he’s not going to admit that), or why he doesn’t fuck him again after the other briefings he decides to bail out on.

It’s not until a battle against Doombots does Tony see that side of Steve again. Tony swears up and down he didn’t do it on purpose. Really. Flying directly into the core of a Doombot to place a bomb to detonate the control panel was just something he did, and was not meant to piss Steve off. And if the plan didn’t exactly go like it should have, that’s not his fault. 

_”Sir, Captain Rogers is at the lab door. He is demanding entrance.”_

“Leave it alone, J. Tell him to buzz off,” Tony states, ignoring his wounds that seriously need to be dressed and taking a swig out of the scotch bottle instead. 

_”He claims if you do not open the door, he’s sure his shield will do the trick.”_

“Aw, hell,” He mutters, slinking further into his chair with the bottle nestled into his chest, “Let him in.”

In the distance Tony can hear the doors slide open, and the heavy sound of Steve’s shoes against the floor. Not only did Tony almost get himself blown into bits and pieces, he missed the briefing where the team was supposed to talk about him getting blown into bits and pieces. He didn’t want to think about how mad Steve would be (okay, so the thought did entertain him a little bit).

“Are you insane!?” Is the first thing to leave Steve’s mouth when he sees Tony leaned back in his chair with a bottle of scotch. Steve notices the blood and the cuts on the engineer’s body, but refuses to address that until he yells at Tony.

“Maybe,” Tony sighs, “But if I weren’t I probably wouldn't be sitting on a billion dollars.”

“You almost got yourself blown up,” Steve states.

“Yeah, well it worked didn’t it? Look, I’m in one piece.”

“You had orders to wait for backup.”

“If I had waited the Doombots would have broken the perimeter. We can’t have that, can we?”

Steve ultimately wants to punch something, possibly Tony's face, “What is it going to take to get you to realize we’re a team?”

“Movie nights on Thursdays, group outings to the zoo on Fridays, and lets have margarita Mondays.”

That’s all it takes for Steve to grab the engineer by the collar, yanking him up so hard that the bottle falls out of his lap and crashes to the ground. Tony wants to yell in protest, because that’s a five-hundred dollar bottle of scotch he’s been saving, but is cut off by Steve’s lips on his.

Steve is just as pissed off as the first time and Tony doesn’t protest when everything on his desk crashes to the ground so Steve can toss him onto his work table. In fact, he must have _really_ pissed him off because Steve is acting like a rabid animal, not caring about ripping Tony’s shirt in half, leaving him in a beat up tank top. He’s about to rip that one too when Tony reaches up and stops him, distracting him with furious kisses on his strong jawline (because this is not about the arc reactor. Nope. It most certainly is not. No way). 

Steve forgets about ripping the tank top and opts for yanking Tony’s pants down faster than the engineer can protest before picking him up and throwing him down on the table.

“You don’t listen, Stark,” Steve growls. The tone is furious and if Tony weren’t already throbbing hard, he’s certain Steve’s gravel voice alone would have gotten the job done.

“I just don’t listen to _you_ ,” Tony shoots back and Steve doesn’t hesitate to lean forward and bite his neck _hard_. Tony is furious when he looks up to see Steve smirking at the yelp that escapes his lips.

“I’m the captain, remember?” Steve asks, suddenly sweet as he rubs his member between Tony’s cheeks. He’s not sure where the lube on Steve’s dick as come from, and he assumes the soldier brought it down with him (which is even hotter, because damn Steve must have planned this).

“My tower,” Tony chokes out and hisses when he feels the tip of Steve at his entrance. He should be angry that he doesn’t get any prepping, but then he remembers the previous encounter when he scolded Steve for taking so damn long and well, he guesses he deserves it. Plus, he secretly likes the burn.

“You’ll learn eventually,” Steve smirks before pressing just the tip of him inside. He’s going agonizingly slow, and Tony is somehow thankful because if the soldier decided to plow him then and there Tony wouldn’t stop him, and he’d definitely regret it later.

The burn is long and agonizing but it sends shivers down Tony’s spine. His back is cold from the metal table beneath him, but Steve’ hands are warm as they roam his body through his shirt. He can feel the heat radiating even through the fabric and the feeling is indescribable. Tony loses himself in the feeling of Steve just touching him. Reveling in the beauty of his hands. He feels like he's been laying there blissfully for a few hours before Steve is finally pressed all the way inside.

“Ugh!” Tony groans, arching his back as Steve slowly pulls out.

“Who’s the captain, Stark?” Steve demands, but Tony doesn’t answer. This causes Steve to shove himself inside without warning, causing Tony’s legs to shake and his hands to grip out for something, anything, to hold on to, “Stark, who’s the captain?” Steve asks again, pulling out just as slow as the last time. Its just enough time for Tony to catch his breath before Steve slams into him again.

“Jesus, fuck!” Tony screams out.

“Uh-uh, that doesn’t sound like the right answer to me,” He replies, pulling out. Tony doesn’t know how Steve can have the self control to pull out so slow multiple times without giving up and pounding him into oblivion, “Tell me who the captain of this team is,” Steve growls out again, slamming in even harder, this time hitting Tony’s prostate dead on.

“Fucking, shit!” Tony yells, reaching his hands up to dig his fingers into Steve’s biceps.

“You get one more try,” Steve smirks, “I promise if you answer correctly,” He pulls out completely, “I’ll fuck you properly.”

Tony shakes his head. He’s in no condition to speak, let alone process anything Steve is telling him until he pounds himself into his ass again, deeper than the first few times, and Tony comes undone, “You are! God-dammit, Rogers. You’re the captain!” He breathes out.

It’s kind of like a green light for Steve, because the slow agonizing pull is over with and he’s pounding Tony’s ass harder, faster, and deeper than Tony thought the captain could ever accomplish. The feeling leaves the engineer so full, so hot, that he can’t stop from shaking his head back and forth, whimpers and whines escaping his lips with every push into his prostate. Steve is relentless, and the primal noises coming from him only make the feeling in Tony’s abdomen get tighter as he reaches his own hand forward to grip his throbbing erection.

To his surprise, Steve slaps it away, “Not yet,” He states and Tony wants to protest, but can’t find the words. He’s close. He’s _so close_.

“P-Please,” He whispers.

“Not until you learn,” He hisses out, face contorted into pleasure with sweat dripping from his brow, “Are you going to follow orders?”

“Yes!” Tony screams, “God, yes!” Though he’s not really talking about the orders. He’s just ultimately approving of the way Steve moves his hips.

“You’re not going to disobey me anymore?” Steve asks.

“Ugh, please. Let me,” Tony whispers, going to reach for his dick again, when his hand is suddenly against the table above his head, being held there with Steve's grip.

“Answer me.”

“No, ugh, fuck,” He chokes out, “I’ll listen!”

Steve doesn’t let Tony touch himself, instead he reaches forward and wraps his other hand around his dick and begins to pump him. Steve is dangerously close, and Tony is even closer. It only takes a few more rabid thrusts before he feels Tony stiffen beneath him. The moment Steve sees the thick white liquid sprayed across the front of Tony’s tank top, he pulls out and releases himself in the same spot.

Its beautiful, really. Tony, loud-mouthed egotistical Tony, is sprawled out with his legs spread and his ass absolutely destroyed while his stomach is covered in cum. It’s a sight. Like a beautiful mess. Steve wants to bend down and lick up every spot of cum, even if it isn’t directly on Tony’s skin, and then make Tony taste it. 

Instead, he backs away and finds a small rag tossed aside and wipes himself with it before handing it to Tony. The engineer doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that he just subjected to Steve openly without remark (He did have a dick in his ass, though. There has to be something in the fine print about that.) and cleans himself up.

“Do you need another shirt?” Steve offers his own, since he's never had a problem walking around the tower with a bare chest, but Tony stops him.

“No, I’m going up to change anyways. I need a shower.”

Steve nods and takes it back, slipping it over himself before bending down to start picking up the scattered mess on the floor, “Don’t worry about it,” Tony waves his hand nonchalantly, “The bots will pick it up.”

“Okay,” Steve drops the blueprints he’s holding and stands, looking at Tony and waiting for him to say something.

“I’m going to take a shower. You may be captain, but you’re not staying in my lab. JARVIS has orders to fire at anyone who’s in my lab without my presence,” Tony states firmly, and Steve takes the hint.

The blow is to the gut, but he gets it. Him and Tony aren’t anything special, so if Tony wants him out of the lab and away from him, then he needs to respect that. He lingers just a little longer, but the moment Tony takes his eyes off of him and turns back to the holographic screens, there’s no point.

“Right. See you at tomorrow’s meeting.”

“Yeah, as if,” Tony scoffs, and Steve almost wants to laugh because what a little _shit_.

The days after Tony doesn’t attend any meetings, takes off to Paris for a conference, and doesn’t return until he’s needed for battle. By that time, Steve has convinced himself that it doesn't bother him.


	3. Chapter Three

_”I apologize for the interruption, Captain, but Sir has yet to come out of his lab.”_

Steve immediately stops his push-up repetition and sits up, looking towards the ceiling, “Isn’t that normal coming from him?”

_”Normally I would contact Miss Potts, but after Sir’s last argument with her, he has blocked me from calling out to her on his behalf.”_

“I’m assuming he’s working on something important,” Steve scratches the back of his neck. He been alone with Tony since their last _heated_ argument. Every encounter has been in passing, or with someone else in the room. He’s not looking forward to meeting him in the odd hours of the night while everyone is asleep.

_”Sir has not slept in forty-eight hours and has not eaten in nineteen. My existence is to serve Sir to the best of his health. Right now I am concerned for his well-being.”_

“If the lab is locked?” Steve asks, standing up and going for the towel hanging on the rack so he can wipe the sweat from his forehead.

_”My override protocol states any Avenger is allowed within the lab if it is an emergency. Seeing as Sir is about to fall over from exhaustion and malnutrition, I will be accessing that protocol.”_

“Alright,” Steve sighs, getting into the elevator, “Take me to the lab.”

The entire elevator ride consists of Steve continuously wiping his sweating palms on his sweats and biting his lip nervously. He almost wishes the elevator would break down so JARVIS can wake up Natasha or Bruce instead. To his dismay, the elevator lands on Tony’s private floor and he finds himself walking towards the lab doors.

Just as JARVIS stated, the doors open without a fuss and he steps inside. Instantly, he can see why the AI is worried. There are papers thrown everywhere, parts and scraps just the same, and all he can smell is engine grease and coffee. He can see Tony hunched over in a chair, tinkering with something and by the slow sway of his movements, Steve assumes the genius is trying to stay awake.

“Stark,” Steve states and Tony suddenly jolts up, spinning around and before Steve can say anything else, he’s dodging out of the way of a repulsor blast.

“Jesus Christ, Rogers!” Tony breathes out, pulling the gauntlet off of his arm and tossing it aside, “How the hell did you get in here?”

“JARVIS,” Steve replies, standing up straight and dusting himself off. He appears unharmed, but is a little alarmed at the fact that Tony _actually_ fired at him.

“What?” He snaps.

_”You have been awake and haven’t eaten past Miss Potts designated allowed work time. Since you have blocked me from calling her under these circumstances, I was forced to inform Captain Rogers.”_

“Alright, you’ve informed me,” Tony shrugs before waving the soldier away, “Let me get back to work.”

“Seriously?” Steve sighs, “C’mon, its time for bed. You’ve been at it for days straight.”

“Yeah, give me a few more minutes,” He isn’t even facing him anymore, just back to the desk where he’s using a screwdriver to open the gauntlet to go back to tinkering. Steve sighs, placing his hands on his hips and looks up at the ceiling, as if JARVIS can help him.

“Stark, am I going to have to drag you out of this place?”

“I’ll activate Safety Protocol 56 and the bots will attack you before you even get the chance,” Tony mumbles, his speech slurred from lack of sleep and Steve finally sighs.

There’s really only one thing left. And no, its absolutely not because Steve wants to see Tony’s sleepy face of pleasure. That’s ridiculous. He just knows thats the only way to get him out of the lab without causing harm to anyone. Right? That’s logical. He’s a tactician after all.

“You sure you don’t want to leave?” Steve asks, placing his hands on Tony’s shoulders, digging his thumbs into his shoulder blades to feel the other man tense beneath his touch.

“I-I have work to do.”

He leans forward, mouth hot on Tony’s ear, “Are you really going to make me force you?”

“Fuck off, Rogers.”

In one quick motion, Tony’s chair is turned and Steve is leaning into him, brown eyes connecting with blues. Tony doesn’t miss the hidden anger of lust in Steve’s and despite how tired he is, he’s actually feeling a little aroused because of it. 

Steve would much rather make Tony get on his knees, force him to say sorry, then have him suck his dick. The weary exhaustion in Tony’s eyes is evident, though. The man has been working himself, and Steve supposes he can get a reward for that. Its most certainly not because he’s curious to know what it would be like to suck Tony Stark dry. It’s not like he’s giving himself pleasure by sucking Tony off. No way. Not a chance.

Without a word Steve hooks a finger into the waistband of Tony’s jeans and tugs. He doesn't even have to coax the genius into lifting his butt off the chair to get the pants off. Watching the genius’s eyes go wide for a split second is practically worth it and before long his pants are on the ground and Steve’s on his knees. 

“You really don’t want to go to sleep?” Steve asks, breath hot on Tony’s tip.

“I have fucking work to do,” Tony grits out. Had Tony not been aroused at all, Steve would have stood up and apologized for his behavior. But Tony is halfway hard, desperately trying to think of anything else but Captain America’s mouth wrapped around his dick. 

“You sure it can’t wait?” 

With that, Tony inhales sharply and Steve’s mouth is suddenly on his tip. The warm caverns of his mouth are warmer than most mouths, and Tony has to thank the serum for that. Steve is practically hot and Tony can’t help but groan and roll his hips a bit. It doesn’t take long for him to be completely hard, throbbing as Steve runs his tongue just over the tip so careful and so precise, he as to actually hold down Tony’s hips.

“Christ, almighty,” Tony hisses and just like that Steve’s nose is buried into his pelvic bone, his little curls tickling his upper lip and Tony can feel himself at the back of Steve’s throat.

And _holy shit_ Captain America is choking on his dick. Captain _fucking_ America has a mouth full of his dick and he’s sucking it _good_. Suddenly, all Tony can think of is growing up with Captain America posters shoved underneath his mattress like a stack of Playboys. He can imagine being in his dorm room alone while everyone else was in the library, imagining Steve’s pretty pink lips wrapped around him. 

Tony dares himself to open his eyes and look down and all he can see is Steve’s blonde head bobbing up and down, cheeks hollow and eyes slammed shut like he’s trying too hard on a test. He looks so damn good Tony almost loses it, but instead he holds his ground. If Captain America is sucking his dick, then he’s going to make it last and he’s not going to embarrass himself by coming too soon. So he reaches forward and rakes a hand through Steve’s blonde hair, tugging slightly. That earns a moan out of Steve and God dammit Tony can feel the vibrations through his entire dick.

“Holy shit, Rogers,” Tony sighs, leaning back and relaxing as Steve continues to work on sucking him dry. His hand is only lazily tangled in his hair, mostly just enjoying the comfort of touching some part of Steve.

Steve has his hands both on Tony’s hips and occasionally he looks up with his blue eyes to see the look of pure satisfaction on Tony’s face. It’s not until his jaw starts to hurt in the slightest does he take his left hand and grip Tony’s balls with it, causing him to twitch and sit up. When Tony looks down, all he can see is blue eyes staring up at him with determination and he can’t hold it back anymore.

He’s expecting Steve to pull away and let gravity take care of his cum, but Tony’s mouth drops open when he sees Steve swallowing, the tip of his dick hitting the back of his throat, as he takes everything Tony is giving out. If Tony weren’t so exhausted, he’d probably be hard again in minutes. Instead, he leans back, enjoying the feeling of Steve licking up anything that might have missed his mouth before coming off his dick with a ‘pop’.

Steve is satisfied to see how relaxed Tony is and when he stands up to look down at the genius, his eyes are barely open and he’s practically asleep. With a chuckle he pulls Tony’s pants back up, picking him up in his arms before looking around the lab.

”JARVIS, can you get the lights?”

_”I will handle all of Sir’s lab closing procedures, Captain. His room is down the hall to the right.”_

Making his way through the penthouse, Steve notices that JARVIS has dimmed the lights just enough for Steve to see so as not to wake Tony while he walks. When he gets to Tony’s room, he has half the mind to just drop him and leave him there, but something about the innocent look on Tony’s face when he’s sleeping pulls something inside Steve.

So he sets him down, digs around the drawers for a pair of sweats and a shirt to change him. He does the pants first, taking off the shoes and the socks before wrestling him into a pair of comfy lounge pants. When Steve reaches for the hem of Tony’s shirt, JARVIS stops him.

_”The pants will be enough, Captain.”_

Steve blushes, “Oh, I was just…”

_”I’m aware you’d like to see Sir as comfortable as possible, but I assure you that Sir would much rather sleep in grease than have you see him bare.”_

“Oh,” Steve’s a little offended at that.

_”I don’t mean for you to take offense, Captain. Sir is very protective of the arc reactor, and very rarely lets anyone see it. Even Miss Potts struggles with Sir on the matter.”_

“I get it,” Steve nods and puts the shirt back where he found it before lifting the covers and settling Tony in. The genius instantly curls into himself, taking the covers with him and Steve can’t help but smile, “JARVIS, if its not too much to ask…”

_”Yes, Captain?”_

“Can you turn off any alarms he has. If its not set for anything too important.”

_”I’m sure Miss Potts will agree that Sir is much better off getting rest than attending a meeting. I’ll see to it.”_

“Thanks, JARVIS.”

_”Thank you, Captain.”_

 

When the morning comes and Tony wakes up, he realizes he’s had the best night’s sleep in a long time and there's a warm breakfast waiting for him. And if he asks JARVIS to play the footage of Steve putting him to bed on repeat, then that's nobody's business but his own.


	4. Chapter Four

The team is exhausted after a long day of fighting large angry lizards in Europe, then flying to SHIELD to debrief, before finally arriving back at the tower. It’s Steve and Bruce who head for their rooms immediately, not wanting any interaction other than one with their beds. Its Clint who attempts to coax Tony into watching a movie, but the engineer can’t sit still. He just wants to work on something, anything, until he’s too exhausted to do it anymore. He just needs to wind down for a while.

He’s only fifteen minutes into upgrading an arm for Dum-E when an alarm goes off in the lab.

“Already? Really, J?”

_”The alarm is from within the tower, Sir. Not a call from SHIELD.”_

“What’s the situation?” Tony asks, standing up.

_”Captain Rogers' private alarm has been triggered, Sir. It appears he’s in an extreme state of distress.”_

“Is there anyone in the room with him?”

_”No, Sir. His heart rate and blood pressure set off the alarm.”_

“Did you trigger the alarm to anyone else?”

_”Any private alarms are only triggered to you. However, I can inform Agent Romanoff if you prefer.”_

“No, I got it."

Tony makes his way to the elevator as fast as he can before descending down to Steve’s floor. If anyone can deal with nightmares, its Tony. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s talked someone out of a panic attack in his tower, although he’s not allowed to mention it because a certain spy would rip him apart if he did. 

When the elevator doors stop at Steve’s floor he enters the override code that lets him inside. The living room and kitchen are completely still, completely untouched. Like a picture out of one of those home and garden magazines Pepper likes so much. As he observes the room he hears grunts and whines coming from the bedroom, and Tony slowly makes his way over.

Steve is withering on the bed, hands gripping the sheets so hard he’s surprised they haven’t ripped. There’s a look of immense pain on the captain’s face, like he’s being tortured in some way. The feeling Tony gets in the pit of his stomach when he sees Steve makes him want to be sick. Their leader isn’t supposed to look like this.

He keeps his distance in the doorway, not wanting to get too close to the soldier, “Steve,” He calls, “Steve, wake up.”

There’s something of panic that seeps its way into Tony’s stomach, because he’s never seen Steve like this. Though the moonlight in the window he can see tears glistening on Steve’s cheeks, and thats terrifying enough. But the way he’s squirming and whimpering, Tony can’t handle that. Steve lets out a sudden and loud cry, and Tony’s had enough.

“Steve!” He exclaims and leaps forward to put a hand on his shoulder. 

Tony doesn’t hear JARVIS’s warning in time, because Steve’s reflexes are too quick and before he knows it he’s flying into the wall. His entire back and neck feel like fire and a sudden jolt shoots up his spine. He feels like he just got the wind knocked out of him and he’s sure he’s not supposed to see black spots in his vision. He can’t really hear anything other than JARVIS faintly in the background.

_”Sir, if you do not respond within ten seconds I shall have to activate Security Protocol: GLA4.”_

“Oh my god, Tony!” 

_”Five seconds, Sir, or I will be forced to remove Captain Rogers from the premesis.”_

“Tony, I’m so sorry.”

_”Three seconds.”_

Tony finally opens his eyes and takes in a deep breath, “Override Code: Stark, GLA8.”

_”Security Protocol has been shut down. Would you like me to call for medical assistance?”_

“Please, JARVIS,” Steve answers for him.

”Not necessary, it’s just a scratch,” Tony groans, sitting up completely.

_”Sir, I highly advise-“_

“Mute.”

When Tony looks up all he can see is Steve, standing in just a pair of lounge pants sweating and heaving with the most worried look he’s seen since he told Pepper he was dying. In fact, he’s sure this look is a lot worse. There’s a sharp pain in his ribs and there’s definitely something wrong with his neck, but he’s not going to act weak in front of Steve. 

“Tony,” Steve breathes, “I-“

“It’s fine. I probably shouldn’t have touched you when you’re having a nightmare,” Tony shrugs, standing up and biting is lip to keep from crying out from the pain.

“Oh,” A look of realization comes across his face, “I didn’t even realize what was happening.”

“JARVIS said your heart rate was getting pretty high, so he activated the alarm to notify me.”

“How did he know that?” Steve asks.

“He knows everything. I have him keep constant scans of heart rates, blood pressure, all that jazz.”

“That’s,” Steve sighs, “Brilliant. Thank you.”

“Eh,” Tony shrugs, and yeah that wasn’t a good feeling. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, it wasn’t that hard of a hit.”

Steve gives him a disapproving look and looks past him. Tony follows his eyes, turning around behind him to see the wall he slammed into now has an imprint of his body. In fact, if Tony hadn’t installed high-pressure walls he’s pretty sure he would have flown straight through it. 

“Oh.”

“Will you please come here so I can look at your back at least?” Steve asks and Tony has the mind to tell him to fuck off, he’s fine, but there’s something in Steve’s eyes that he just can’t deny. A soft caring look Tony hasn’t seen since Pepper, and a part of him just doesn’t want to let that moment of care go.

“Fine. But everything is okay.”

Tony huffs, shuffling forward before sitting down on the edge of the bed while Steve gets behind him and places strong hands on his shoulders. Instantly, there’s a pain and even Tony can’t hide the small hiss that escapes. 

“Do you mind if…” Steve makes a tug at the shirt.

“Yes, I mind,” Tony snaps and Steve immediately backs off, instead moving his hands through Tony’s shoulders to work out some of the kinks.

“You probably pulled a muscle. You should probably have Banner check on your ribs, though.”

“I’m not waking up the Big Guy at this hour,” Tony states and Steve agrees.

“Fine, but you’ll have to sleep carefully tonight so you avoid more damage,” He replies, “Tony, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s-“

“No,” Tony presses, “Trust me if it were your fault, I’d tell you,” Steve actually laughs at that, “You weren’t waking up when I called your name and you were getting worse. I wasn’t really thinking when I touched your shoulder.”

Steve sighs, his hands still gingerly working on Tony’s shoulders, “I was dreaming about the battle.”

“Steve, we won. I know giant lizards are annoying, but-“

“Not that one,” Steve confesses and he instantly feels Tony tense beneath his fingers.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“No,” Tony shakes his head, “You, uh, should talk about if if you need to.”

Steve’s skeptical of Tony, but since he can’t exactly see his face, he decides to trust him on that. He doesn’t drop his hands from his shoulders, because the contact, though little, is still comforting. 

He sighs, “I just… I still don’t believe it sometimes.”

“Yeah, neither do I.”

“Aliens and magic,” Steve chuckles, “I’m out of my element.”

“You’re not the only one,” Tony confesses, finally turning around to face him. Steve is sitting with his legs crossed, an odd sight for a super soldier but something about it is kind of cute, staring at him with big curious eyes. Tony hardly feels the pain anymore when Steve’s looking at him like that, “I’m a man of science,” He starts, “Math, calculations, facts. I don’t do things that can’t be explained. I need-“ He takes in a deep breath, “I need things that have tangible evidence. I can’t explain dimensions or wormholes.”

“You’re brilliant. I’m sure it won’t take you long.”

He shrugs, “I’m worried its something that will never be explained. I get scared thinking that I’ll spend this entire lifetime… not being able to explain it.”

“Why can’t you ignore the facts and just believe?” Steve asks.

“Because its something we fight, Steve,” Tony urges, “How do I fight a mad wizard from outer space if I can’t understand his magic?”

Steve nods, “You know… In my dream I saw you,” He whispers, images of Tony carrying a nuclear missel flashing across his mind, “I saw you and then when I wake up you’re here on the ground and-“

Tony puts a hand on his wrist to get him to calm down, because he’s sure at any minute Steve is going to hyperventilate, “I’m okay.”

“I’m not,” Steve confesses.

“Well, I’m okay physically. Mentally is another story.”

Steve laughs, looking down to hide the tears in the corners of his eyes. He could have done a lot worse to Tony. If he were dreaming about fighting aliens from outer space instead of Tony disappearing into the wormhole, then he probably would have hit a lot harder. 

“Steve, believe me when I tell you I’m fine.”

He finally looks up and Tony’s face is nothing but compassion and truth. Somehow, the mask is gone. He’s not longer hiding behind witty comebacks or snark humor. He’s just Tony, and he’s looking at him like he’s the world. Steve can’t help but lean forward and place his lips against his, moving slowly but with hunger and need. The kiss isn’t like the others. Neither of them are angry. There’s no biting and it’s not for an outlet to their frustration. They’re just two people who feel like one. Tony doesn’t even hesitate to start kissing him back, just reaches up and places a hand behind his neck to pull him closer. It isn’t until Steve places a hand on between Tony’s neck and cheek does the genius pull away, hissing in the process.

Right, he just threw him into a wall and now he’s making out with him. Steve thinks sometimes he can be the biggest idiot when it comes to Tony Stark.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers.

“It’s, uh, fine,” Tony rolls his shoulder a bit, but winces.

“You really need to be careful when you sleep if you’re going to wait until tomorrow to get your ribs checked out.”

“How exactly do I do that?” Tony almost snaps, but he’s mostly annoyed with the fact that the pain is keeping him from kissing Steve.

“Just try not to move so much. Stay in one position the entire night.”

Tony scoffs, “Easy for you to say. I’m always moving in my sleep. I can’t help that.”

“You can stay here.”

The words fly out of Steve’s mouth before he can catch them, and instantly he regrets it. Tony, the guy he only fucks when he’s angry, does not to emotion or affection. Why on earth would a man of such precise calculation want to stay and cuddle with him?

“Yeah, okay.”

Well, that actually makes things a lot easier for Steve as he silently gets up, moving to straighten up the covers and sheets he nearly tore. When the bed is settled and the pillows are fluffed, he looks to Tony, waiting for him to make a move. He gingerly slides into the bed, kicking off his pants and shoes in the process, and turns on his side. Steve follows, getting in and pulling the covers over the two of them before he pauses.

Tony is just an inch away from the edge of the bed, obviously trying to give the soldier space. Steve doesn’t hesitate to reach forward, latching an arm around his waist and pulling him closer so he’s flat against him, morphing to his own figure perfectly.

“Is this okay?” Steve whispers right into Tony’s ear, almost making him shudder.

“Fine. Looks like JARVIS won’t need to turn on the heater for me.”

He chuckles, “Not with me here, no.”

“Steve?” Tony asks.

“Yeah?”

“You’re okay, you know that right?” He asks, but he doesn’t answer, “I mean, you’re okay right now. You may be out of your time, but you’re not as bad as you think you are.”

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

 

In the morning Steve wakes up to an empty bed, the feeling of having Tony next to him gone so suddenly he’s starting to think last night was a dream. Its not until he sits up and looks around does he see the crash in the wall, and something fall to the pit of his stomach. That means Tony was here, and left without a word.

When he goes to get up his hand lands on something that doesn’t feel like blankets or sheets. When he looks down he sees a piece of paper from his desk, scribbled with Tony’s writing.

_The wall will be fixed before you get back from your run.  
-Stark_

Steve has to remind himself that crying over Tony Stark is like crying over spilled milk. There’s really no use.


	5. Chapter Five

It happens when Steve and Sam stumble upon his long lost friend somewhere in an abandoned warehouse in Iowa. They’re not sure how he got there, or how long he had been there, but Steve doesn’t seem to care because he’s sure he’s going to bring his best friend home. Except Steve looks away for a minute to make sure they haven’t been followed, and when he looks back there’s no sign of Bucky having ever been there. He was once again a ghost without a trace, forcing Steve to start all over again. Months of work, down the drain. 

Steve assures everyone he’s fine, that he’s just busy mapping out the next piece of the puzzle. Narrowing down Bucky’s different locations isn’t easy. The team is expecting him to work on his plan for the next few days, but when days turn to weeks Natasha finally snaps.

_”Sir, Agent Romanoff has broken the secure perimeter to the lab.”_

Tony doesn’t even bother threatening the spy anymore. He’s pretty sure Fury gave her some sort of hacking device to get her into his lab. He’s been too lazy to work through JARVIS and the servers to figure out how she keeps getting in. Of all the Avengers, her presence bothers him the least (because he doesn’t count Steve) and she’s doesn’t bother him like the rest of the team.

“I told you, your birdbrain boyfriend’s bow isn’t done yet. If he wants it in time for Bahrain then he’s going to have to stop sending you to threaten me,” Tony states from his desk where he’s working on assembling Clint's newer and lighter bow.

“This isn’t about the bow,” Natasha states, sliding gracefully onto the desk so she’s facing Tony, looking down at him with a scold.

“Look,” Tony sighs and looks up, “The whole putting baby powder in your training gun was all Clint’s idea. I only provided the materials. I didn’t know he was going to use it on you.”

Natasha effectively slaps Tony on the backside of the head with a glare, “Even though I’m still upset, I’m not here about that either.”

“Well any other pranks done have nothing to do with me.”

She sighs, “Steve hasn’t left his room in two weeks.”

No, Tony is not going to tense. He’s not going to give her any indicator that he’s worried, or that he’s hurt that Steve hasn’t spoken to him or the rest of the team. He’s not going to let Black Widow use her manipulation against him. He’s learned her tricks, and if there’s anything he can do to stop it, its to not react. So he stays perfectly still, keeping his well put mask in place before turning back to the table.

“Alright. Call up Coulson and have him drag the guy out. Take him to Coney Island or something,” Tony shrugs, all too focused on the tools in his hands rather than the redhead sitting on his work table.

“We’ve tried everything,” She presses, “Sam can’t even get into the room. Steve figured out how Clint was getting into the vents and blocked that off. He’s completely sealed off.”

“You ever think he just wants to be alone?” He asks.

“When you lock yourself in the lab after a battle, is it really because you want to be alone?” She asks and Tony drops the screwdriver in his hand, breathing heavily through his nostrils, because _ouch_ that had really hit home. When he looks up at her, her green eyes are blank but he sees a flash of concern in them before he looks away.

“I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“You’re the only person in this tower who has override codes to each of our floors,” Natasha smirks, as if she knows every little secret.

“Not true.”

“Pepper said the same thing when I asked,” She shrugs, “I have to say you’re a better liar than her, but not by much.”

Tony sighs and forgets about the tools, slamming them down on the table before turning to her, “You want the code? You can have it. Now get out of my lab.”

“Oh no,” Natasha hops off the table, “I’m not going in there.”

“And you want me to?” He scoffs back, standing up from his chair to glare at her, “You’re out of your mind.”

“He respects you. He’ll listen.”

“He hates my guts.”

She shakes her head, “He hates when you act like a brat. He doesn’t hate you.”

“I don’t act like a brat.”

“What do you call the attitude you’re giving me right now?” Natasha places her hands on her hips, giving Tony a warning glare he knows he can’t get out of .

“Whatever. I’ll go in but I’m not making any promises to drag him out. If he wants to be left alone then he wants to be left alone.”

“Fine. I expect to see both of you at breakfast tomorrow,” She smirks before turning on her heels, heading straight for the door before letting herself out. Tony waits until she’s up the stairs and out of sight before he turns to one of the screens near his desk.

“JARVIS, pull up Feed 14,” He states.

_”Feed 14 is live.”_

The familiar sight of Steve’s room pops up on Tony’s holographic screen. Tony can feel his heart drop at the sight of Steve sitting in the middle of his room, surrounded by maps and blueprints with scribbles littering the designs. The guy looks like he hasn’t done much, he’s still in the same clothes as he was wearing the previous day (Tony ultimately denies checking up on Steve daily because he honestly could care less. If the feed somehow ended up on his screen then it was a glitch).

“How’s he doing, J?”

_”Captain Rogers has not slept in the past six days, has only had water to drink, and has only gone to the kitchen when he felt dizzy. I suspect he’s starting to take on traits only you would understand, Sir.”_

“I asked for his condition not for some lip from you,” Tony glares.

_”I’m just sharing my observations.”_

Tony doesn’t say anything else. Instead he turns and grabs two metal pieces off of the table and pockets them before heading to the lab door. He doesn’t look back at the uncompleted work as he enters the elevator, taking himself down to Steve’s floor.

 

When the elevator doors open to Steve’s floor, he’s expecting immediate resistance. He’s even prepared, just in case Steve throws him into a wall again. Taking the first step into Steve’s living room is like breaking the sound barrier. 

“Steve?” He calls out, standing in the middle of the room. He looks around and sees that the coffee table and television have collected dust, which is unusual because he knows for a fact that Steve cleans the room himself. One of the agreements to get him to live in the tower was the promise that he wasn’t going to send an army of robots onto his floor to do things for him. Steve didn’t need to depend on technology, “Steve?”

“I’m busy,” A voice calls from the living room and Tony wants to grab a certain redhead by the shoulders and shake her like a rag doll. 

Tony makes his way to the room, hands at the ready just in case he needs to call the suit. He’s going to get the Captain into bed (not like that, Tony swears) even if he has to force it. 

“Steve, I think its time to take a break,” He states clearly as he stands in the doorway of the room. Steve is still on the ground, sitting cross-legged while carefully eying a map of what looks like Colorado.

“You’re one to talk,” He scoffs and Tony kind of wants to punch him. 

“So you know it’s bad if _I’m_ the one to tell you enough is enough.”

“I just need to find where he’s going next. He wouldn’t head back this way and he wouldn’t head north in this weather.”

“I’ll cook you some food. Or, JARVIS will. I can’t cook.”

“Not now, Tony!” Steve sighs, and wow Tony really wasn’t expecting it to hurt that much. Maybe it was because he had heard those words countless of times growing up while Howard was searching endlessly for Captain America. Funny how Captain America sits before him now, telling him the same exact thing. Tony isn’t going to budge. He may have let his father walked all over him, but he’s not going to allow Steve to do it too.

“Steve!” Tony snaps.

When Steve finally turns around there’s desperation and anger in his eyes. It’s a look Tony has never seen before, and it scares him more than the determined look Steve gets before he does something stupid like jump off a building. The look is almost enough to get Tony to back off, but he knows what’s best for Steve, and this isn’t it.

“I only need a few more hours. I’ll be ready before the meeting.”

“Meeting?” Tony chuckles, “What about the four meetings you missed?”

“What?” Steve furrows his eyebrows, lost in words he doesn’t understand.

“The four meetings you scheduled before your little vacation to find Bucky. You missed them.”

“I don’t miss meetings. That’s your job.”

“Uh, no. You missed them, Buddy. Flat out didn’t show up.”

“But it’s only been two days.”

Tony sighs, running a hand over his face. This is too much, even for him. Steve can’t even comprehend time now, and now he’s going to have to explain it to him. This is not how he expected to spend his day.

 _”Captain, your last mission to recover Sergeant Barnes was fifteen days ago,”_ JARVIS cut in.

The look on Steve’s face is nothing short of a lost puppy wandering out in the rain alone. The way he looks at Tony with those blue eyes pooling with tears pulls something within the engineer. He needs to do something, anything, to make Steve not look so _sad_.

“Oh my God,” He whispers.

“Steve, it’s okay,” Tony urges, taking a step towards him.

“No,” He shakes his head, “No I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t-“

“Nothing is wrong with you, Steve. I do this all the time. I work in the lab without knowing what day it is.”

“But…”

“It’s okay.”

Before Steve can crumble, Tony finds himself doing something he only does in his dreams. He drops to the ground, to the same level as the captain, and wraps his arms around him. He’s expecting Steve to protest, but the soldier just melts into the embrace, pulling on Tony’s old shirt in the process. He can feel the wet tears on his neck, and if that doesn’t break Tony’s heart then he’s pretty sure he’s made of steel. 

Steve’s body is warm pressed against his, and if the situation weren’t so dire Tony would take a little more time to admire the way to solder’s muscles flex underneath his fingertips. He's not sure how long they stay like that. It’s the first time he’s not thinking about time, or calculations, or formulas, or numbers. He’s trapped in his own little world, Steve with him, and it sort of feels alright. 

“I-I’m sorry,” Steve pulls away and Tony reluctantly lets him go.

“It’s alright,” Tony shrugs in reply, “We should get you something to eat.”

“I’m fine, Tony. You can go,” He urges, and normally Tony would bolt for the door. He can’t, though. Steve is so lost and broken, he’s sure the guy will start crying at the toaster if someone isn’t there with him.

“Nah, I’m hungry too. I hope you have something edible in the fridge.”

Before Steve can protest, Tony is on his feet making his way to the kitchen. He opens the fridge and there’s not much in there he can actually cook, mostly because he just doesn’t know how to. He finds some meat, cheese, and bread and decides sandwiches are the best option. He’s halfway through putting together a second sandwich for Steve (because he’s certain not even five will be enough), when the soldier himself shuffles out of the bedroom. 

It looks like Steve has attempted to straighten himself up. He ran a hand through his hair, attempting to smooth it down and Tony notices he put a different pair of lounge pants and a shirt on. He sits himself down at the counter in the kitchen, looking up at Tony with grateful eyes.

“You only have enough meat for four.”

“Three is enough for me,” Steve gives a half-hearted smile, “Thank you."

“Don’t mention it,” Tony replies, sliding over a plate of three sandwhiches towards him. Steve takes it and bites into the food without protest, and if Tony weren’t in the room he’d probably moan. It’s the best thing he’s ever eaten in his life at that moment, and he’s not sure if its because he was starving or if its because he knows Tony made it. 

They eat in silence and even after Tony is finished with his sandwich, he doesn’t leave. He waits, making sure Steve is eating everything just in case he decides to bolt back to the maps and blueprints the minute he’s out the door. Surprisingly, though, Steve finishes his last sandwich and looks up at Tony, debate in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks.

“I want to ask you something,” Steve looks up with hope in his eyes and there’s something within Tony that flutters. Butterflies, maybe? Because this is it. Steve’s going to ask about the two of them, then Tony is going to kiss him, and everything is going to be perfect. No more secretly fucking after missions or longing glances over breakfast. 

“Steve, I built you a motorcycle and a plane. There’s not much that I won't do for you,” Tony scoffs, trying to keep the mood light and playful before something terrible ruins it. He’s going to make this work. Steve is his.

“It’s asking a lot of you. Considering…”

“Just ask me, Steve,” Tony says, and his heart is beating in his ears because he wants to hear that Steve wants him to stay, that he wants something more than fucking every time one of them is mad, or that he needs him.

“I want you to help me find Bucky.”

And Tony has to take a moment to just admire his work on the arc reactor because if _that_ isn't a stab to the heart, then it must be doing a pretty damn good job. 

Because Tony doesn’t get Steve very often. Once every few weeks, or sometimes in a single longing glance across the dining room table he has him for a moment, but he doesn’t _have_ him. What ever piece of Steve he has is stolen in those moments, and the minute Bucky Barnes walks through those doors, he’s going to lose him forever. 

He’s not going to do it. Selfish is his middle name, and Tony Stark gets what he wants. He’s going to make up some excuse as to why he can’t help, then he’s going to look away to avoid the hurt in Steve’s eyes. He is not going to give up Steve.

Then Tony sees a hope in Steve’s eyes, because the soldier is looking over at him with such praise and admiration for himself and his work, it makes him stop breathing for a second. There’s something in Steve that is like a child, reminding Tony of himself when he was young and looking up to his father before everything went downhill. Steve isn’t ninety years old, he’s just a kid. Still a kid looking for his best friend. And _God_ does Tony want to see those beautiful eyes sparkle again. So if this is what Tony needs to give him to see those blue eyes sparkle like they are now, then so be it. Tony would give Steve everything, even if it means destroying himself in the process.

“Of course, Steve. Anything you need.”

And its worth it, because suddenly Steve is leaning across the counter with his lips attached to Tony. He eases into the kiss, letting Steve bring a hand to his cheek. The caress sends shivers down his spine and in that moment he’s in bliss. A soft loving kiss, actually loving, and there’s a sting in the corners of his eyes as Tony tries to fight back any tears that might start pooling. This is bliss, his little slice of heaven, and he’ll never have it again.

“Thank you,” Steve whispers, pulling away.

“You should get some sleep,” Tony manages to chokes out.

“Will you stay?” Steve asks.

Tony wants to run. Run now before this gets out of hand. If he leaves now it won’t be harder when he has to let go in the future. But Steve is still looking up at him with a longing glance, and it makes him believe that maybe there’s still some hope left for the two of them. He learns very quickly that it’s extremely difficult to not give Steve what he wants. So silently, he nods and follows Steve to the bedroom. This is where Steve discards his shirt and pants, leaving him in a pair of baby blue boxer briefs that outline his figure so perfectly Tony has to keep his mouth from dropping open. 

Tony removes his own pants, keeping the shirt on as he crawls into the bed beside Steve. In an instant there are a pair of super-sized arms wrapped around him and Steve is attached to him like he’s some sort of koala. If there weren’t such an aching in his chest, Tony would probably laugh at what the super-soldier looks like holding onto him. 

He turns to Steve, watching his eyes flutter in peace. The demons swirling in his eyes from the past two weeks are gone and there’s an innocence in his face that Tony hasn’t seen since the end of the Battle of New York. Tony can’t help but lean forward and place a kiss to the soldier’s nose, and instinctively the soldier leans into the touch. Tony buries himself in Steve’s warmth, both of them latching on together.

Tony thinks it’s probably the last time he’ll ever touch Steve, because he predicts Bucky Barnes will be back in Steve’s arms within days.  
It’s okay, he tells himself, he’s used to being forgotten.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was infuriating to write, because I couldn't decide on writing in Tony's POV or Steve's, and then somehow I ended up with Bucky and yeah. Oops.

Bucky may be new to this whole mighty-superhero-team thing, but it doesn’t take much to realize something is wrong. He’s been trained to pick up on emotional discrepancies, and although he won’t use those emotions against anyone to kill them (at least not anymore), that doesn’t stop him from observing.

All he knows is this:   
Howard Stark’s kid picked him up in the middle of a Canadian snowstorm he was sure no one would find him in.  
He was brought back to a big fancy building where he was reunited with a thoroughly shocked Steve.  
Someone mentions something like “Really? Two days? It took you two days to find a long-lost super assassin and you still haven’t finished my bow?”  
He doesn’t get to thank Tony Stark for convincing him to come back, because the guy leaves within minutes of their arrival.

After that, things start changing.

It doesn’t take him long to realize something isn’t right. His paranoid self would tell him that something is wrong, and these people aren’t here to help him at all. His logical self is telling him that this has to do with the fact that Stark left just minutes after he arrived to the tower. He thinks it must be him, because what else could it be? Tony brought back the guy who’s wanted on over eighty murder charges, who probably had something to do with his parents’ death (Bucky can’t remember that far back, and he’s not sure if he ever wants to), as if it weren’t a big deal at all. He wouldn’t be surprised if the guy were plotting some way to kill him in his sleep. Or maybe the voice in the walls will do it for him. He hasn’t completely gotten he grasp of JARVIS yet, but Steve tells him that he’s safe.

Then he realizes that it’s not just the team who’s acting strange, it’s Steve. Steve’s ecstatic for his long-lost friend to be home, but Bucky can’t help but see something different in his demeanor. When he saw Steve fighting over the Potomac, he was determined and strong. The Steve now is drained, eyes always casted downward, and there’s always flashes of sadness when he’s left alone for too long. Bucky talking and reminding him of the little things he remembers seems to be enough to keep the sadness out of his eyes, but at the end of the night when the soldier shuffles into his room, his shoulders are slumped with a defeat Bucky can’t really explain.

It’s three weeks after Bucky has made himself at home in the tower does he find himself asking questions. Questions about anything. The future, the past, why Chicago thinks they have better pizza, and why the Dodgers are no longer in Brooklyn. Anything to keep Steve involved and distracted from what ever is making him so upset. It’s the least he can do for him.

“So, Howard’s kid,” Bucky starts one day as they’re eating cereal. Steve is in an uplifting mood this morning, even though Bucky knows he didn’t get any sleep the previous night. He can hear the soldier tossing and turning in his sleep, “Tony, right?”

And suddenly Steve’s bright charisma is gone, his blue eyes darkened with grey skies, and his shoulders slumped. Bucky isn’t stupid. He’s observed enough to know that it comes whenever someone mentions Stark. When Natasha asks JARVIS at dinner if Tony is close to coming home, Steve keeps his eyes on the ground. Whenever JARVIS mentions Sir, Steve can’t seem to look anyone in the eye. Bucky may be a recovering brain-washed soldier, but he’s not idiot.

“Yeah, Tony. He’s a good guy,” Steve forces out, his voice strained like he’s in pain.

Bucky nods slowly, “Not around very much, is he?"

“He’s just busy,” Steve shrugs, swirling his spoon in his cereal, suddenly losing his appetite, “Owns a multi-billion dollar company and he’s working on helping SHIELD back up on its feet."

“Yeah?” Bucky asks, “What’s he like? Anything like Howard?”

“Don’t let him hear you ask that,” Steve orders, and it kind of shocks Bucky in a way. Steve has been gentle with him since day one, and this is the first time he’s shown any sign of being more than just a big softie, “He’s a lot more than Howard.”

“Natasha said he’s kind of an obnoxious prick.”

That seems to be another trigger, because Bucky sees a tiny little micro expression on Steve’s lips, one filled with anger, like the one he used to get whenever someone was getting picked on. Right before Steve would step in for a fight. He’s learning a lot about Steve just by mentioning Tony.

“He can come off that way, but you have to get to know him,” Steve assures him, “He’s,” He takes a deep breath, “He’s gotta be the most compassionate person I’ve ever met. He’s kind, giving… so giving.”

“Giving?” 

“Yeah, generous. All of this is his,” Steve looks around the room, “He takes care of us. Even if he doesn’t like to recognize that he does."

“Huh,” Bucky shrugs, “So why did he leave?”

“Business.”

“Business,” Bucky repeats, “Just seems odd that he just up and left after dropping me off here.”

“It’s not you if that’s what you’re thinking,” Steve states, but Bucky doesn’t really believe him, “He does that. Sometimes he takes off for months. He just comes back when the Avengers have to assemble.”

There’s that look again. Pain. There’s a hidden pain in Steve’s features when he mentions Tony taking off for long periods of time, and Bucky decides to add that to his list of ever-growing notes concerning Steve and his team. Out of all of the members in the team, Tony seems to effect him the most and he’s there the least. 

Quickly after that, Bucky starts to notice something. Steve talks about Tony. _A lot_. Whenever Bucky mentions the past and something about a ridiculous invention Howard insisted on giving the Howling Commandos, Steve retaliates with a story about Tony. Something of pride in his voice as he talks about his genius and all the ways he could solve a problem.

“He always chooses the hard way,” Steve chuckles to himself. He’s at the kitchen counter, Bucky at the table with Natasha who’s decided to join them for dinner, “One time I asked him to fix the steering on my bike. Was pulling too much to the left, you know?” He chuckles again, “What does he do? Tony puts this entire new device with GPS and cameras and tells me it adjusts on its own according to my weight, gravity, my speed, and which direction I’m going. All he had to do was tighten a few bolts, but instead he hands me this. Drives like a dream, though.”

After that, Bucky realizes that there’s a stiffness in the room whenever Tony Stark is mentioned. The room becomes still and he doesn’t miss the concerning looks Natasha, Clint, and Bruce share with each other. Something tells him that Stark isn’t gone just on _business_. The guy left for a reason, and he’s betting all of his pennies that it has something to do with him.

-

 

It’s a late night when Bucky stumbles upon a hand-written note addressed to him, written in beautiful script. There’s no name indicating who its from, but its asking him to head up to the communal room without alerting Steve. He’s betting everything that its Natasha waiting up there for him. Not that he doesn’t trust the Avengers, but he knows about the infamous Natasha Romanoff (he also remembers shooting her almost ten years ago, then almost killing her again) so he straps a small knife into the waistband of the pajama pants he’s borrowing from Steve. 

When he heads up to the communal area the windows are bright with a clear view of the city, twinkling under the moonlight. There’s no lights on, but the moon is enough to illuminate Natasha’s figure in the corner of the couch, knees pulled to her chest with a steaming cup of tea. There’s a book in one of her hands, and Bucky can’t even tell if she’s noticed him or not she’s so focused on the pages in front of her.

“Glad you could make it,” She smirks down at the book, not lifting her eyes to meet his. Bucky clenches his fist, shaking to grab the knife at his waist. Just holding it would make him feel a lot better.

“Killing me is going to do no one good,” He announces, “I thought Steve trusted you.”

Natasha laughs. Actually laughs at him. He’s never seen the spy laugh before, and its a little unnerving given her usual solemn expression, “Oh, you are precious,” She chuckles, “If I were going to kill you it would be quick and painless in your sleep and my only witness would be JARVIS.”

_”I would also have to report such actions to the remainder of the team. I would then detain you with much force.”_

“Thank you for reminding me, JARVIS,” Natasha looks up to the ceiling.

_”Of course, Agent Romanoff.”_

Bucky eyes her suspiciously, losing his need to reach for the knife. He relaxes a bit, easing his shoulders and taking a step forward. Natasha doesn’t seem tense at all, she’s completely relaxed on the couch as if she were having a casual conversation with Bruce or Clint. She shows no signs that she’s about to harm him in any way, so all he can do is trust her.

“Why did you want to see me?” He asks.

“It’s not your fault,” She announces, putting her book down and finally looking up at him, “Stark leaving. That’s not your fault.”

Bucky automatically shifts uncomfortably at the sound of the name. He brings a hand up to rub the back of his neck, suddenly feeling vulnerable. He hadn’t expressed his concerns about his home in the tower with Steve in fear of hurting his feelings. He knows if he ever hinted at Steve that he might want to leave, he’d never outlive the guilt. 

But there’s no other reason for Stark to leave so suddenly. Its not a coincidence. Tony can’t handle housing the assassin that probably has his father’s blood on his hands. That’s a reasonable explanation for taking off. He doesn’t blame him. Bucky doesn’t deserve to be in the tower, not after what he’s done. He can only commend Stark on his ability to pick him up without killing him in the first place. 

“I think I had something to do with Howard and Maria,” He confesses.

She shrugs, “I’ve killed children. We all make mistakes.”

His eyes widen, “I killed his parents. I killed the man who flew Steve over enemy lines just to rescue me.”

“You don’t know that for sure. Neither does Stark.”

“How would you-“

_”I can assure you, Sergeant Barnes, that Sir does not know the details of his parents’ death. Sir has been in possession of HYDRA files since the fall of SHIELD and according to my records the file for Howard and Maria Stark has yet to be accessed. Sir has also put a lock on the file to ensure it can never be opened without his permission.”_

“I tried to hack it last week,” Natasha confesses and he glares at her.

“I don’t understand what other reason Stark would leave like that, or why Steve would be so upset about it. He gets this painful look whenever I mention him and he talks about him like a lost puppy or something. I can’t take it anymore,” He huffs, “I’ve been wanting to tell Steve that me being here probably isn’t the best idea.”

“You’re an idiot,” Natasha deadpans, and Bucky is honestly too shocked to even be upset, “You’re all idiots."

“What are you talking about?”

“Stark left because of you, but it’s not your fault.”

“Well that makes perfect sense,” He hisses sarcastically and she rolls her eyes.

“I can’t believe I have to spell out everything for you guys. I swear.”

“Can you stop being a spy for just five minutes and be honest and tell me what’s going on?”

“Stark is a great man, but he gets jealous very easily.”

“Jealous?” Bucky asks.

“Very jealous,” She smirks.

“Tony’s not here because he’s jealous of me?"

“Because he thinks Steve will be so occupied and smitten with you, that he’ll forget all about him.”

Gears start turning in Bucky’s head. There was plenty of evidence indicating that Steve and Tony were friends, but there was an equal amount of evidence proving they didn’t get along either. It was a rocky relationship. He had seen the video footage of their battles. It didn’t take a genius to see that Stark had trouble following orders. The behavior didn’t surprise him, if he were anything like his father. Stark’s don’t pay attention to rules. He can see how that would upset Steve, but that doesn’t explain why they would be so close.

Unless Steve’s in love with him or something.

_Oh._

“Wait… Are you saying?" Bucky trails off, trying to put the pieces together in his head.

“They like to believe none of us know. Clint and Thor are oblivious, but Bruce figured it out before I did. He’s proven he’s very observant.”

“Oh my God."

"The problem is they kind of just sleep together without actually talking about feelings. Hence the confusion.”

And _oh_ , oh this is bad. Not only is Steve absolutely smitten with Howard Stark’s son, but he actually believes the guy who went all the way across country to bring his best friend back, doesn’t feel the same way. Oh, this is classic Steve. Steve, who can’t believe anyone he has any interest in could possibly like him back. No doubt Tony is the same way, probably thinking he’s not good enough for someone like Steve (he may have come across some files pertaining to Howard Stark and Tony’s lasting daddy issues, but he’s not going to mention it). 

“Are you telling me that Tony has feelings for Steve and he took off all the way across the country to bring me back, just for him to leave again because he’d be heartbroken about it?”

“What do you think I’ve been trying to tell you?”

“And Steve thinks Tony doesn’t have any interest in him, other than sex, so now he’s wandering around like a lost puppy?”

“I thought you would figure it out sooner, but I got impatient."

“What a bunch of idiots.”

“You’re telling me,” She scoffs, bringing the book back up to her.

Bucky likes to think the future just likes to fuck with him.  
Just because.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer than I anticipated, but it was easier to group everything I wrote into one piece. I also didn't think it would take this long. Anyways! One chapter left!

_”Good morning, Sir. You are currently in Paris, France at 6:46 AM. It is sixty-three degrees outside with a twelve percent chance of rain.”_

Tony sits up, looking around the hotel room, remembering he’s not actually in his bed in his penthouse. JARVIS is just in his earpiece, one he hasn’t taken off since leaving the tower. It takes him a moment to remember the previous night. He met up with an old friend for dinner, ditched that friend for the hot blonde waitress, then proceeded to get the two of them drunk. Right. That explains the headache. Beside him there’s a blonde woman and the moment he looks at her he remembers why he brought her back to the hotel in the first place. If he remembers correctly, the blonde had blue eyes that were the closest thing he could find to the stars that were Steve's, but he's not going to admit that. If anyone asks, she has a great body.

Tony sits up and stretches, careful not to wake the girl next to him. It's too early to deal with the awkward 'should I stay, or should I go?' conversation all his one-night stands have with him. 

“Hows the Tower, J? Still standing?” He asks, getting out of the bed and making his way to the balcony.

_”Yes, Sir. Currently, Agents Romanoff and B-“_

“Save the details,” Tony cuts him off, “I don’t need to hear it.”

_”I must express the team’s concern for your absence. It is now just over a month since your departure.”_

“We’re fine. No one’s hurt, right?”

_”Not physically. No”_

Tony is not going to ask. Nope. Not going to do it. Absolutely no way.

“Physically?” 

_”It seems Agent Romanoff is annoyed by your absence, but Captain Rogers has been the most emotionally distraught over it.”_

And, dammit, he knew he shouldn’t have asked.

_”He’s been restless at night and body scans suggest he has gotten no more then twelve hours of sleep this week.”_

“What ever. How’s Pepper?”

_”She has told me to relay you a message.”_

“Oh, yeah?”

_”She says, and I quote, ‘the minute you step foot in the tower I am going to lock down the lab for three days and auction off the Aston Martin, I am so pissed with you’.”_

“Ouch, not the Aston Martin,” Tony groans.

_”She has already discussed the auction with her charity of choice. It seems like you’ll be donating quite a generous amount to Dogs for Vets this month.”_

“Great.”

Behind him, Tony can hear the shuffling of sheets as the blonde finally stretches and sits up. When he looks back at her, he realizes that the scotch he drank last night must have tricked him into thinking she had a little resemblance to Steve. Her eyes are not blue, but hazel, and her blonde isn’t the all-natural honey he’s used to. Then again, every blonde hair blue eyed bombshell, both male and female, he's slept with over his _vacation_ always seems to be a let down in the morning. No matter how hard he tries, nothing can replace what Steve is.

He doesn’t like this part. Usually this is where Pepper swoops in and handles his dirty laundry for him. He's never had to force a girl to leave, or call her a cab. In fact, he might just get Pepper a new pair of shoes here in Paris before he takes off to Spain. Since living at the tower, he hasn’t had any one night stands to deal with. Dealing with them himself is an entirely new ball game. 

Luckily, this girl is a pro, because as soon as she sees the time she gets up and throws on her clothes. She doesn't even mumble a good morning as she heads into the bathroom, and Tony can hear the water in the sink running before she emerges again. Her eyes meet his, and she gives a little nod as if to acknowledge his presence, but nothing more, before grabbing up her things and heading out the door without a word. He has to admit its the best possible scenario as far as one night stand's go, because the guy he met in Venice last week did not leave as gracefully.

And just like that, Tony feels's safe. Alone and secure. There’s a beautiful city, strong wine, and men and women calling his name. He’s going to relax. He’s not going to think about the Avengers or Pepper. He’s most certainly not going to think about Steve, or how happy Steve looked when his eyes landed on Bucky. He’s not going to think about how the soldier didn’t even turn to Tony to mutter a thank you before taking Bucky into his arms, guiding him under his wing. He refuses to think about what they’re doing at this moment. Steve is probably pressing his warm body to his, his body that used to fit so well with Tony’s. 

Tony can’t help but think about the agonizing jealousy in the pit of his stomach. Just thinking about Steve looking over at Bucky with such happiness and sparkle physically makes him sick. He wants to crawl back in bed and forget about everything. Maybe that’ll be his next invention. Selective amnesia. He can pick what he wants to forget and what he wants to remember. He’ll just delete Steve. That sounds like a good idea.

And Pepper said he has a poor way of solving problems.  
As if.

_”Sir, you have an urgent message from Agent Coulson.”_

“How urgent are we talking?” Tony asks, and his eyes involuntarily shift to the bed, where the knows a red and gold suitcase is hiding beneath it. 

_”It appears Doctor Doom has released new and improved Doombots in New York City.”_

A feeling of dread drops in his stomach, because he isn't ready. He's not ready to face Steve, and he's certainly not ready to battle with him and take orders. It's been a month so far, and Tony isn't sure if he'll ever be ready. Tony can't handle that heartbreak.

_"Sir, I should remind you that Captain Rogers has been just as distraught over your disappearance as you have."_

“Not a good time, J," Tony mutters, grabbing the suit and changing out of his pajamas into a pair of jeans and a shirt.

_"Perhaps speaking with the Captain will change your mind."_

"This is the worst vacation ever," He mumbles, the suit coming to life as he wraps around his body.

_”I’d hardly call running away a vacation, Sir.”_

“Shut up, JARVIS.”

 

-

 

Steve is not focused. Not in the slightest. His mind is everywhere but the giant robots in front of him. He’s thinking about the tower, and how Bucky is inside impatiently waiting for him to return. He had been dreading since Bucky’s arrival what would happen if the alarm in the tower went off. Bucky surprisingly did not freak out, but he did however worry about Steve going into the field. Bucky wasn’t fond of staying in the tower by himself, but Bruce was kind enough to volunteer and stay with him, just in case he starts to get agitated with the fighting outside. With Thor off in another world, that left Steve fighting with only Clint and Natasha as backup. Tony, still no where to be found.

Tony. Oh, Tony. Steve could hardly function as it is without him, but now in the midst of fighting and worrying about everything at once, the pain in his chest is becoming a little too unbearable. He wants to drop the shield, actually let the bots take over the city, and crawl in a hole to think about what ever it is he’s done to make Tony run away this time. Because Tony has been gone from his world too long, he’s starting to wonder if he’s ever coming back. What could he do? Tony has the best security system in the world, and JARVIS refuses to relay any of Steve’s desperate messages to the engineer. 

He’s tried distracting himself with Bucky, and he thought casually mentioning Tony and his crazy antics would help stop the pain. It only got worse, his chest aching every time he turned in for the night. Natasha gave him worrying glances, Bucky was concerned by never asked, and he knew Bruce and Clint were doing everything in their power to stop from asking if he’s okay. Steve just wants Tony back, long enough for a chance to explain himself and ask what he did to drive him away. At this point, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get anything more than that. Tony had slipped through his fingers, and Steve will always be yearning to feel the heat of Tony’s body against his again. Like a distant memory.

“Cap, on your left!” Natasha shouts in his comm, and before he can react, he’s thrown into the side of a building. His mind is fuzzy, blank yet swarming with images of Tony. He can’t focus on anything, not even enough to call out orders to the team. He doesn’t move to get up, just curls into himself a bit to get away from the world and the battle around him.

“Steve, are you alright?” She calls in, more urgent this time, and Steve knows he has to get up. He has a team depending on him. 

“Fine, Nat. Just keep fighting,” He orders, slowly reaching for his shield.

He has no plan of attack. He can’t even think straight. When he looks up all he sees is a giant Doombot looming over him, two more inching closer, and he feels trapped. He can’t think of a plan. Usually his mind would tell him to throw the shield at the first bot and watch it bounce off the second while he mounts the third. Except his mind is blank, and he’s not really sure what to do.

That is, until he hears a loud rock song echoing the city, followed by a streak of red and gold.

”You have got to be kidding me," Clint mutters over the comms just before Steve can comprehend that he’s seeing Iron Man in the flesh. 

He’s real. He’s really there, and Steve can suddenly feel himself able to breathe again. He no longer feels like he’s drowning, even if he can’t directly see Tony’s face. Just seeing the suit is enough for him, because he knows the man is inside. Tony came back, a little late and without explanation, but he’s back. The ache leaves, and Steve feels like he’s just gotten the best sleep of his life he feels so energized.

He doesn’t move as the suit swoops in front of him, taking all three robots out in one blow before the metal suit lands gracefully a few inches away from him, “Losing your touch, Cap?”

“Me and you are going to have a serious talk later,” The words leave Steve’s mouth before he can take them back. He’s thankful he can’t see Tony’s expression through the Iron Man mask, because it would probably just make him even more mortified.

“I promise next time I’ll send postcards. For now, call it.”

And for those extra few moments, everything is normal. They’re working together as a unit. The Captain making the calls, Iron Man ignoring them, Hawkeye covering all of the mistakes from up above, and Black Widow handling things from the ground. It’s as if Tony hasn’t left, and Steve forgets about the heartbreak for a moment. Tony forgets that Steve’s new interest is waiting up in the tower for them to return. All is calm. Well, as calm as things can be when Doombots are attacking the city.

The minute the battle is over, Tony puts himself in a position where Steve can see him clearly, hoping it’s enough to coax the soldier to approach him on his own. There is no way he’s going to make the first move. Not at all. So imagine the joy and the beating of his heart when he sees Steve take off his cowl, heading directly towards him with eyes blazing full of fear and determination. Tony isn’t even worried about news cameras or the other spies lingering. He’s pretty sure he’s just going to kiss Steve with everything he’s got.

 _”Captain Rogers, I am being informed that Sergeant Barnes is in the midst of a panic attack in Dr. Banner’s lab.”_ Echoes throughout the comms, and that’s all it takes for Steve to get to the quintet as quickly as possible, as if Tony is just a distant memory, and take off for the landing pad on Avengers Tower. Clint and Natasha follow, as much urgency in their movements as Steve’s. They’re concerned, all of them, and Tony is left standing by himself in the middle of the debris. Alone.

Tony pretends the pain in his chest is just from a rough wrestling match between him and a robot. That’s all.

 

-

 

When Tony gets back up to the tower, its a lot worse than he’s expecting. He’s expecting them to be standing around and looking at him with disappointed faces. He’s expecting Steve to be holding his shield with white knuckles because its the only thing he can grasp hard enough without it snapping. He’s even expecting some sort of physical punishment from Natasha and Clint. 

Except when Tony reaches the tower, Steve is no where to be found. Natasha is washing her hands in the sink, indifferent about the grime and blood dripping off her skin, and Clint is sitting at the table trying to ease his sore arm out of his suit. They don't even spare him a glance, completely indifferent to his return. 

Oh, and then there’s Pepper. It wouldn’t be a welcome home party without Pepper yelling at him.

“Tony Stark, I have had it up to here with you!” Pepper shouts, stomping her Louboutin-clad foot in the process. Tony doesn’t say anything as the armor comes off, piece by piece, disappearing into the ceiling courtesy of JARVIS. He’s exhausted, he can’t focus when he doesn’t know where Steve is or what he’s doing. Actually, he’s pretty sure the super soldier is comforting Bucky while letting his friend lick his wounds from the battle. A job he feels should be designated to himself. And no, Tony will not think about Bucky’s rough fingers patching up the scratch on Steve’s ribs because if he does he’ll start shaking with anger. No. Tony doesn’t think about it.

“Keys to the Aston Martin are already in your office,” Tony mutters, and that seems to only make Pepper even more upset.

“Do you know how worried I was!?” She shouts, not caring that the super spies are watching them like one of those cheesy morning talk shows about paternity tests, “Do you know the slack I had to pick up? You can’t just take off out of the blue like that! You have a company, you have a team, you have meetings and work to do!”

“You have a bow to finish,” Clint mutters somewhere in the kitchen, and Tony doesn’t miss the sound of a slap, probably from Natasha.

“I’m Iron Man,” Tony states, “I don’t deserve a vacation?”

“Well, if that’s the case then. That’s for the freaking invite!” Clint exclaims.

“That’s it, you’re not getting a new bow,” Tony warns and Clint immediately backs down, sinking deeper into the couch beside Natasha.

“Tony,” Pepper sighs, “For a grown adult, you can be very irresponsible sometimes. Why did you leave?”

And there’s the million dollar question Tony can’t answer. What is he supposed to say? He’s too upset to see Steve reunite with Bucky, so he just decided to take off? If there’s anything Tony is good at, its hiding all of his faults. He’s going to think of something else to say, and he’s going to say something that is going to drive Steve crazy, because that’s the kind of stupid thing he likes to do. Piss Steve off. After all, he deserves it. You can’t cuddle Tony Stark then ask him to find your long lost best friend/lover who’s a wanted fugitive. The arc reactor keeps him alive, but it certainly doesn’t cure broken hearts.

“What, I can’t leave?” Tony asks, a frown falling on his face, “Fury throws his entire team of misfits onto _my_ lap, into _my_ tower where I pay for everything with _my_ money, and I can’t take a break?”

“Tony…” Pepper trails off, eyes shifting over to Natasha and Clint guiltily, as if she’s worried they’ll be offended. Clint is the only one who looks stricken by the remark, but Tony doesn’t miss the analyzing scowl Natasha is giving him. 

“I can’t get a break!?” Tony asks, “I’ve given up everything for this and for what? To not even go on a little vacation to get away from monsters and aliens for a while!?”

It’s Natasha who stands up silently, walking over to Tony and stopping in front of him. His body is tensed, ready for what ever blow the spy is going to throw at him. Instead, she remains completely still with her green eyes staring so hard into Tony’s eyes he’s worried she can actually read minds.

“How are you going to fix anything if you don’t address the problem?” She demands, “Leaving the team. Leaving him,” She pauses slowly and he tenses, “Is not the answer to your problems. I guarantee you, Stark, you are not the only person in this tower that’s hurting.”

“Maybe if someone actually cared enough to give me some appreciation about _fixing_ things,” Tony spits out, angry memories of delivering Bucky directly to Cap’s lap flashing across his mind, “I’d stick around long enough to listen.”

“For being a genius, you sure are an idiot,” She snaps.

Pepper, thankfully, takes that moment to intervene with arms out stretched as if she’s a match to hold back both Tony and Natasha from killing each other, “Alright!” She chuckles nervously, “That’s enough. I think we’ve all had an exciting day and maybe its best if we just let everyone cool down before discussing this.”

“There’s nothing to discuss. I’m here and that’s that,” Tony turns away.

“You’re here, but you haven’t opened your eyes yet,” Natasha reminds him, turning to Clint and nodding before heading down the hallway with him in tow. 

It’s Pepper’s hand that caresses Tony’s shoulder, and immediately he tenses underneath the gesture with refusal to look at her. She sighs, resting her head against his shoulder blade before slinging an around around his middle, “What am I doing to do with you, Mr. Stark?” She asks softly, so softly that it almost brings tears to his eyes. He hasn’t felt that kind of compassion since Steve showed his gratitude for Tony deciding to help bring Bucky home. He missed the look of admiration on Steve’s face, and it haunts him with the reminder that he can’t live up to the captain’s expectations, not enough to make him his.

“I don’t want to be here,” Tony confesses, voice broken and immediately Pepper knows he means it. Tony’s had the tendency to crack over the years, and when she was his she’d have to pick up the pieces. The look in Tony though is so broken and cracked that she isn’t sure if she remembers how to fix anything. 

“Okay,” She nods, rubbing a soothing circle into his shoulder, “But you have a responsibility, Tony.”

“I,” He pauses, taking in a deep breath because if he doesn’t get himself under control he’s going to break down, vulnerable and exposed, in an area where anyone could walk in and see him, “I don’t want to be here.”

“Tony,” Pepper slowly moves both her hands to his shoulders before turning him, easing him to look at her. When he’s finally facing her, Pepper can tell he didn’t get much of a vacation at all. He isn’t well rested, he’s pale, and there’s no beautiful rich color in his usual chocolate brown eyes. He looks half-dead, suffering through something she can’t understand and it only makes her feel worse.

“Tony,” She repeats, just to make sure she has his attention and his eyes shift to hers, “I am completely against your decisions to tackle situations by running away from them,” She states, earning a hearty sigh out of him, “But you look drained. You don’t look like yourself and I’m worried. So I’m going to make sure the villa in Venice is set up. You can take the jet tomorrow and leave.”

“Pep,” Tony looks up, eyes grateful and about to express how much this means to him when he’s interrupted by the sound of the elevator doors opening. He takes a step away instinctively, eyes shifting to the elevator to see Steve standing there. 

And, wow, does Tony’s heart feel like its been ripped in half. Steve stands alone, clearly exhausted and worn with his dirty suit still on him. He’s drained, color fading from his blue eyes as he steps out of the platform to lock eyes with Tony. All Tony wants to do is push past Pepper, make a beeline for Steve and wrap himself into his warmth and comfort, because that’s what he needs right now. He needs Steve to make him feel at home.

“Tony,” Steve’s voice comes out rigid and forced, “You’re not leaving again,” He states, as if he can see the decision already in Tony’s eyes. It doesn’t take much for the soldier to see that he wants to run at the first chance he gets.

“Who said I was?” Tony composes himself, shifting entirely into a different person than he was with Pepper, “Just needed a break. No worries,” He smiles before turning to Pepper, who’s giving a look between the two of them like she knows everything. She turns to Tony, eyes warning and accusing.

“Do I need to make any arrangements, Mr. Stark?”

“No, Miss Potts,” He replies, “But, I’ll consider your offer. Send me a schedule for this week so we can catch up on anything I’ve missed.”

“Will that be all Mr. Stark?”

“That will be all, Miss Potts.”

Steve watches as Pepper gives Tony a long look he doesn’t quite understand before she leans forward to kiss his cheek. Steve’s always been amazed by Pepper’s grace and strength all in one package. She truly was a warrior, heading a billion dollar company all while dealing with the crazy antics of Tony. She did so with such grace and precision, Steve had always given her his upmost respect. Even so, that doesn’t stop the jealousy as he watches her hand linger on Tony’s hip before tracing his arm as she walks away with a faint smile, heading to the elevator with a nod in his own direction. The behavior isn’t new to Steve. Pepper and Tony were close, always have been, and if he recalls they were in a relationship up until a few months after New York. 

His jealousy comes from the fact that Pepper gets to be there for Tony. She’s his blanket in all the ways Steve wants to be. While he’s had Tony in ways that should make him blush, he cherishes those few moments he got with the genius where he only got to hold him and love him. Pepper was allowed to touch Tony freely, hand him things, kiss his cheek, worry over him, all without complaint from him. It was just another reminder that Tony has other ways of obtaining affection, and Steve is forced to sit on the sidelines and watch.

“What were you thinking?” Steve demands, and he’s not sure if he wanted his voice to sound as harsh as it did.

“I was thinking I wanted a vacation.”

“A vacation?” He scoffs, “A vacation requires you to go completely off the grid? I wasn’t aware JARVIS was forced to keep your location a secret just because you’re on vacation.”

“It’s for my best interest,” Tony shrugs indifferently, and that makes Steve even more irritated. He doesn’t even care. Doesn’t care that he left him alone with a broken heart.

“Your best interest is a security risk, Tony,” He reminds him, “Today in the field we couldn’t work until you showed up, because we had no idea if you were coming to help or not.”

“I may be a terrible guy who goes on vacation without you guys, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t given up on this team.”

“You give me a lot of reasons to think you have,” Steve snaps back, and he immediately regrets it.

The way Tony’s eyes go wide at the accusation is almost enough to completely rip Steve’s heart in half. He looks so much smaller than usual, shrinking back as if he actually just got a punch to the gut. There’s confusion is in brow, then sadness, then defeat. It takes microseconds for all of his emotions to be replaces by anger, and Steve knows he has a problem on his hands.

“Oh really, Captain?” Tony’s voice is significantly louder than before, “I give this team everything, if you haven’t noticed.”

“Tony,” Steve sighs, “I-“

“Anything the team wants, they get. I’ve never said no to any of you. You asked me to do the impossible and bring home an assassin that SHIELD’s been on the hunt for, for months. I didn’t ask questions, I didn’t warn you it would be dangerous, I didn’t even complain that he’d be a danger to everyone in this tower!” Tony yells, “But I did it anyways.”

Steve feels like he can’t breathe, because he realizes that he’s asked a lot out of Tony. It seems like each week he’s suggesting new things for the team. Weapons, modifications to the jet, training excersises, and more. Tony never seems to catch a break with the never ending list of requests that comes from him or the rest of them. It’s a miracle he hasn’t snapped sooner. 

“Tony,” Steve starts, taking a step towards him, “Tony, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we were burdening you-“

“It’s not a burden!” Tony yells, “I can hold my own on this team, despite what any of you think. I’m sorry I wanted to get away for a while! That’s not my fault.”

“A while?” Steve laughs, “You were gone for over a month, Tony!” 

“And!? Did anyone die in the process!?”

“Would you have even come back if someone had!?”

“Now you’re just taking low blows, Rogers.”

“I can’t help that you take off randomly, Stark, but it gives me a hell of a reason to think you’re not reliable.”

“Call me reliable all you want. Take that into consideration the next time you need something from me!”

“God, you’re so difficult! You are the most difficult person to read in the entire world!”

“You’re so hard-headed, Rogers, you can’t see anyone’s way but your own!”

Steve can’t help himself as he grabs Tony by the collar, yanking him forward to plant his lips on his. There’s a pause, Steve just lingering there before he pulls him closer and starts to move his lips, hand snaking down to Tony’s hips. He settles his hand right on his hipbone, squeezing firmly before pressing his body closer, all of the air leaving his lungs at the feeling of having Tony close to him again.

Tony, however, is frozen. He can’t move, can’t breathe, because the lips he’s been having nightmares about are finally his again. For a moment he can’t think, he’s in his own world of bliss and happiness before he remembers why he left in the first place. Somewhere in the tower, Bucky is waiting for Steve and as soon as Tony is done, he’ll have him. That’s not fair. If there’s anything in this world Tony can promise, its that he doesn’t share what’s his. 

With a rough, but surprisingly strong enough push, Steve is an arms-length away from Tony in a single moment. It takes a couple seconds for Steve’s eyes to come back into focus after being lightheaded from all of the adrenaline pumping through him, but as soon as his vision clears he can see Tony standing there, breathing heavily with a look of anger and regret.

“Tony?” Steve asks, his voice soft and reminiscent of the boy he was before the serum. He feels like all his strength is gone after being pushed away, “What did I do wrong?” He asks.

And really, what did Steve do? He hadn’t a clue what happened between them. Sure, they weren’t anything _official_ or however they call it these days, but they at least had something. They had their moments of true bliss and love, and Steve could remember the genius clinging to him like he was the greatest thing in the world. All that love, gone, and he hasn’t a clue why.

Tony breathes heavily, trying to catch his breath and his voice because if he speaks to soon, it might just crack. Steve standing there so helpless and alone isn’t good for Tony’s heart, he can tell you that much. His father is probably rolling over in his grave because his son put that look on Captain America’s face. But he can’t do it. He won’t be a side angry fuck for when Bucky can’t be there for Steve. He won’t. He’s come too far to let himself be broken again.

“I’m not here for you to fuck whenever you get angry,” Tony scoffs, “I’m not into it today. So if you have nothing else to say, then just leave.”

Steve suddenly feels like he’s back in the Arctic, suffocating under the weight of frozen water and debris. Tony’s rejected him, and he’s tried to prepare his heart for this, but even the most laid out plan sometimes falls apart. 

“Right,” He nods, taking a few steps back with a heavy sigh. He purses his lips, watching the empty look in Tony’s eyes before turning on his heels and heading to the elevator, “Welcome home, Tony,” He calls over his shoulder, “It’s good to have you back.”

Tony waits until he’s in his lab to let himself break down.  
Steve’s waits until the elevator doors close.


End file.
